Are you really sorry? | Holly’s Bird’s Nest


It’s so amazing that when we apologize for something, the first thing we say is “I’m sorry”. But are we really sorry for the person we’re apologizing to, or are we sorry that what we said affected that person in a way we weren’t except?

For years, I have helped others overcome difficult situations with friends, family, and even employers. They had already apologized for something they had done or said, and the person who received the apology did not forgive them. Struggling to find out why the other person just can’t get away with it, my first question is always “did they think you were really sorry?” And whenever every person was positive, they did!

Sometimes we get so wrapped up in our lives that we might not realize how much we can hurt others, I don’t know too many people who want to intentionally hurt someone, yes I have met a few, but that’s another blog post!

I noticed that when talking to some of my clients, I could just feel that they weren’t sincere when they apologized. In fact, the one that comes to mind is a man who came to me and said, “I told him I was sorry, and I tried to explain to him that it was not. my fault ”… WHAT !? This one always surprises me every time I hear it! THEN, if it’s not your fault, why are you apologizing and why would the person be mad at you?

If you apologize, deep down inside you know that you said or did something that made someone uncomfortable or hurt by the situation and if that had happened to you you would probably expect to apologies too! Admitting when we’ve done something wrong is one of the hardest things to do, especially when you have that “I know I’m right” attitude and that’s where you look. different perspectives of each situation can help you see that just maybe… you were wrong!

When it’s time to say you’re sorry, a sincere apology is the only solution, along with understanding the situation and of course, never explaining why you did it. I fucked up, but I had no choice! The way we treat people and situations is how you will be remembered, and we always have a choice!

We’re all human, and we make mistakes and yes we all say things we really don’t mean, it could be out of frustration and even anger. The first excuse you should make is to yourself, it’s good to be human, and it’s okay to make mistakes, it’s how we deal with situations afterwards that matters!

Best ways to say I’m sorry:

  • Think before you apologize, even if the person has made you angry, and they should probably tell you that they are sorry for you, it is not fair to treat someone badly.
  • Forgive yourself, to be your own best friend, what would you say to your best friend in the situation you find yourself in? Once you have done this, the guilt for what you are feeling will go away.
  • Never apologize if you don’t mean it, this can make the situation worse, think about how you ended up in the situation. If you truly believe what you said was how you felt and you weren’t wrong, walk away, you’ll regret saying I’m sorry if you’re not, and that can make the situation worse. even more emotional.
  • When you are ready to apologize, do so sincerely, think it, and say it with your heart. You will feel much better about the situation, but remember, just because you apologize, it may take a while for the person to accept your apology. You cannot force someone to forgive you, only they can do it themselves.
  • The statement “I was just kidding” can be even more hurtful, because now the other person feels like you are laughing at them and not taking the situation seriously. While this may not seem important to you, it can be a very emotional and difficult situation for them!

The best way not to find yourself in a situation where you have to apologize is to try to live your life with kindness and compassion. No matter how badly you think you know someone, you don’t know what’s going on in their head and why they were hurt by what you did or said. This year has been tough all over the world and although we are all in this storm none of us are in the same boat so we cannot know what is going on!

I had to say I’m sorry more times in my youth than today I was taught if you do something wrong say “I’m sorry” today I try to think ahead to speak, and if someone says it’s hurtful things to me, I say them without anger in my voice, and I try to walk away, sometimes it’s hard, especially when I know the other person is wrong.

The only thing that I hope when you close this page you take away with… Be your own best friend, treat each other with love and dignity, know that no one is perfect and that kindness is a language that everyone can understand!



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