The Cheaters Guide to Household Chores

I MUST HAVE … I was a compulsive-superior-er cleaner – a real neat freak.

Even when I went for a quick walk in the bathroom in the middle of the night, I couldn’t help myself – I had to straighten the towels before I tripped to get back to bed. The clutter and chaos made me cranky (in fact, I always do!) – I was very proud of my home, especially as a stay-at-home mom.

My poor husband and my family. Imagine what they had to endure:

  • unable to relax in front of the TV for fear of disturbing the cushions I had so carefully arranged;
  • being told not to spoil their toys (how is a child supposed to play with them?);
  • making a snack only to find myself tidying up behind them, grumbling about the crumbs on the bench AGAIN.

Over the years, I’ve had to learn to relax my housekeeping standards – or lose my mind! Trying to juggle husband, kids, home, work, and other activities leaves little time to worry about crumbs on the floor.

Messy kitchen – we were making sushi for the first time

Now that I am working from home, I often have to turn a blind eye to the clutter or else I won’t be doing any of the (paid) work. I make sure to be at my desk at 9 a.m. every day of the week. Even if the kitchen bench is messy!

Presentation: The cheaters guide to household chores!

But what about when people pass by? Because my time is so precious and I don’t want to waste my life cleaning, I have put together THE GUIDE TO HOUSEHOLD CHEAT and share my proven tips 😉 with you:

      1. Leave the vacuum cleaner and plugged in, so that if unexpected guests stop by, you can casually say, “Oh, I was about to vacuum …” so at least if the floor IS a pigsty, at least they think that you were going to do something about it.
      2. Remember: Blue Loo hides a multitude of sins, and masks the fact that the toilets have not been cleaned for some time …
      3. Have some “Get well soon” cards displayed prominently. That way, they’ll assume you’ve been sick and unable to clean.
      4. Get the most out of your oven and dishwasher. During the time it takes for your husband or child to open the front door after the dreaded knock, it’s amazing how much dirty dishes and cutlery you can fit in your oven and / or dishwasher. (don’t worry about packing it neatly – just throw it away and close the door).
      5. A quick spray of lemon scent will trick people into thinking you just cleaned up. And a quick spray of deodorant will mask any unpleasant odors that might emanate from the kitty litter box, the teen’s socks behind the couch, or trash cans that haven’t been removed.
      6. A doona or a duvet can be put together quickly even with a mess of matted sheets underneath, and voila, your rooms look tidy.
      7. Have a designated drawer, stylish cupboard or box within easy reach wherever your hubster leaves things (eg anywhere on the dining table). This way, tidying up is as easy as pushing all the pieces into the box and out of the way. And if he wants something, he knows where to find it (even if it’s a jumble of extension cords, USB cables, loose parts, slips of paper, rubber bands, batteries, cards visit, keys and other miscellaneous items).

You know I’m kidding (well most of the time), right ?! Just make sure you call at least an hour before you come to visit :-).

NB This article was first published in 2013 but has been updated for your education and enjoyment 😉.

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