We started this week by celebrating International Women’s Day. We donated tulips, shared the work of women business leaders on our social media feeds, and told the women around us that we love them.
Now that was cute.
But it’s not enough.
More than happy messages, those who speak the truth have really stayed with me. I published a REEL with 6 things women entrepreneurs are tired of hearing to the day. I’ve been sent a bunch of other comments that women face constantly, they all made me laugh, but that shouldn’t be our reality.
It’s 2021 and we still don’t pay women for their work the same way as men.
We think it’s normal for women to be afraid to go home late at night. We have the keys in our hands, ready to answer, to pretend to be on the phone with someone, to take a longer route to avoid dark corners. We dress appropriately, stay low, just so as not to trigger others, and are not blamed for good… just being ourselves.
Because it’s always been like that, but I’m so sick of it. Is not it?
Reading the news of Sarah’s kidnapping of Everard devastated me. I used to walk through Clapham Junction all the time when I lived in UK. I also remember that I used to ask Tomas to meet me at the metro station after work, not because it’s cute, but because I felt like I needed protection.
I know that won’t change overnight, but we should stop ignoring it once and for all.
Now it is not difficult. It should not happen like that. Let’s not pretend and let’s just start to make a change today.
If you are a man:
- First of all, listen! Stop saying ‘not all men are like that’ when someone talks about their experience. We know it, but we need you to recognize the injustice;
- “Not all men” is the same as “all lives matter”, don’t be that guy;
- Learn about consent. You might think you’re a good guy and I bet you are, but you have to hear YES out loud, not just decide what she’s thinking;
- Stop those “it’s just a joke” sayings. Seriously, that’s enough;
- Don’t ignore the sexist conversations around you. Stop them;
- Stop criticizing, commenting or making fun of the female body;
- Keep an eye on the women around you. It is common for women to remain silent when someone behaves inappropriately. If you see a strange guy trying to talk to a woman on a bus and she seems uncomfortable, come in;
- Don’t feel uncomfortable if your act of kindness isn’t greeted with a smile, honestly we’re so tired it’s all happening again;
- If you are walking late at night and see a woman in front of you, be the one crossing the street. She’s probably walking around with the keys in her hand, just trying to get home as quickly as possible. Give her some space and peace of mind;
If you are a woman:
- Don’t ignore sexist jokes from your male or female friends. This is not correct and you know it. Even if you know they don’t really feel that way and just say these things to sound cool or sarcastic – come in;
- If you think your friend is in an abusive relationship – talk to her, offer your support, don’t ignore the issue until it’s too late;
- Support each other. Women who drag other women down must stop once and for all. We can only make a change if we stand united;
- Look for equal relationships. The change must first begin in your own home.
- Don’t lower your dreams to help your male partner be successful in life. Your dreams are equal, show them too;
- Inquire. Stop ignoring the problem;
- Don’t use your femininity as an excuse not to do something. This is where it all begins. Things like “ real women shouldn’t talk about the trash ” might seem like a small thing, but this way we paint a picture of ourselves being somehow incapable. It’s okay to ask for help and divide your household chores, but it shouldn’t be our learned behavior;
- Rethink your choices. What are you doing because you think that’s what women are supposed to do? You shouldn’t base your life decisions on gender norms;
- Stop pleasing others;
- Stop saying sorry;
- Stop apologizing for being too loud, too career-oriented, too ambitious;
- Show yourself for yourself, your dreams, and your future. You deserve the best;
If you are a parent:
- Talk to your children about limits and consent. It should be normal for your family to talk about it;
- Never shame your daughter for things that are not feminine. This term must disappear once and for all;
- Explain to your children what sexism is and why we cannot ignore it;
- Never ignore your son’s aggressiveness or inappropriate behavior by thinking “oh he’s just a boy, he’ll come out of it…”;
- Buy a variety of toys for your children. Your son should be allowed to play with dolls, and your daughter should be free from having a weird obsession with trucks;
- Talk about strong women leaders around your children;
- Never criticize the appearance of women around your children;
- Get used to feeling uncomfortable responding honestly when your child asks you questions about gender norms or sex. Don’t think they are too small to understand the question;
I think I could have this list and will make sure to update it as I go, but I just needed to publish it. Share this post with your friends and family, it should remind us to change our behavior. The time has come. Let’s stop this.